Sir William, Where he is today. Exclusive interview by Eliza Green
Nobody is hotter in Fidea right now than Sir William. Awarded knighthood by the Queen last year for bravery and service, William began as a trash barge pilot and found himself to be next in line to serve the Space Service Operatives. His life since then has been an upside down jumble of fan clubs, designers wanting his endorsement of everything from replicas of his legendary long black coat, his mysterious goggles, and even his favorite Black Seed Ale. “I don’t understand any of it,” Sir William told me, “I don’t like to be noticed. I like my music played at any decibel that I want, good friends, and slippers.” His now famous love of slippers? “They symbolize, to me, independence, in enjoying life as it is, right now, without anyone telling me to be or do something that just isn’t me. Life is too complicated, you know, a lotta this, a lotta that, a lotta people, like some politicians. I honor people who are honorable. ” When I asked him about his favorite colony he didn’t hesitate. “Earth. They have great food, donuts, and hot dogs-which I was glad to find out weren’t made from dogs, because I love dogs, even the ones that drool, but I hate squirrels since they’re conspiring to attack me. Then they have a group culture called bowling, about fifty kinds of coffee, and, of course, great music.” Forty years ago tragedy hit William’s life when his wife, Briana, one of the most beloved Sisters, was abducted. No trace of her has ever been found. Rumors have circulated for years that Bax, known as Bad, Bad Bax, the ice queen, was involved. When asked about Briana he turned away, with a sadness that was palpable and heartbreaking. He finally answered, “She could create worlds, and orchards in an afternoon, which she did once in our backyard because she knew I liked certain kinds of apples and pears. And yet, she loved a nobody like me. And I love her, more than air.” He paused, leaned forward looking me straight in the eye, whispering, “and I will bring her back. Or I will die trying.” There is no doubt, in this reporter’s mind, that he will do just that. With all of the adoration, notoriety, and emulation, Sir William remains a man who loves deeply, who will sacrifice everything to do the right thing, who is direct and at times irreverent, but who will also never be afraid to show up in slippers.
CONTROVERSY: SHOULD PSYCHICS BE ALLOWED TO PLAY THE LOTTERY ON EARTH, OR GAMBLING ON BEEJEN? DO YOU EVEN CARE? 59% THINK IT'S NO ONE'S BUSINESS, 1% THINK IT'S FAKE NEWS, THE REMAINING 40% WERE EITHER NOT HOME OR DEAD. MESSAGE YOUR ASSEMBLY PEOPLE TO VOICE YOUR CONCERNS, EVEN THOUGH IT WILL MAKE NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL.
The Sir William & Mac Life Without Slippers Series
This science fiction humor novel series is just what you need to cozy up in your slippers and enjoy your donuts and sauerkraut, William's favorite snack.